Saturday afternoon 32-year-old Katrena Elaine Evans decided to head out for a little afternoon of shopping…er…shoplifting at the local WalMart in Cartersville, GA. Things quickly got ugly when one of the employees noticed she was sticking things in more than just her shopping cart.

Wayne Thacker identified himself as an employee and tried to detain Evans inside the store and got stabbed in the stomach for his efforts. After slashing the man Evans took off across the parking lot and jumped into the backseat of a silver car. Unfortunately for her it was driven by a man who didn’t know her. Heh.

Two off-duty police officers detained Evans, who is homeless, until local police could get there, Evans was arrested and charged with Aggravated Assault, Obstruction and Shoplifting and has been lodged in the Bartow County Jail.

The employee was treated for his wound at the Cartersville Medical Center and released and Evans will have three hots and a cot and a warm place to spend Christmas this year.

I’m all about getting sex offenders off the street. I am very opinionated about it and think that at the very least they should be incarcerated for life or just outright killed. I’m not particularly interested in getting into a conversation about recidivism rates or anything like that because it is what it is and I won’t be changing my opinion any time soon. It has nothing to to with the death penalty being a deterrent because it’s not, except that it certainly deters the dead one from raping again.

That having been said, if they are going to be killed we damn sure need to make sure they are guilty first.

26-year-old Amanda Little of Oxford, Georgia reported to police that she was kidnapped from the Wal-Mart parking lot, driven to an undisclosed location and raped.

After reviewing the security video at the Wal-Mart police figured out that Little is just plain full of shit. She finally admitted to investigators that she had been having sex with someone when she accidently butt-dialed her boyfriend. She made up the entire story as a cover up.

Little has been charged with False Report of a Crime.

The wife always makes fun of the fact that if I am giving directions to just about anyone you can guarantee that “turn right at the Waffle House” or “go ‘till you see the Wal-Mart” are included in said directions. Staples of Southern living I guess. Apparently Johnnie Turner thinks so too.

Polk County Deputies were trying to serve warrants on Turner for Aggravated Assault and Battery yesterday when they managed to track him down at the Wal-Mart in Cedartown, Georgia. They tried to stop him but Turner pulled out a handgun and fired at least three shots at the officers before taking off and leading them on a 40-mile chase. In his brother’s Kia Rio.

Turner traveled through three different counties and managed to maneuver around stop sticks police attempted to use to stop him.

After being chased by officers with the Georgia State Patrol along with deputies from Polk, Floyd and Bartow Counties Turner eventually threw his gun out the window and pulled in to the Waffle House across from the State Patrol Post in Cartersville, Georgia where he surrendered without incident.

Dukes of Hazzard indeed…

This past Wednesday Atkinson, otherwise known as “fatcat”, and his wife Jeanette had apparently been arguing with each other and not being one to let his wife have the last word (bad move there Chuck…) he decided to end the argument and head-butted his wife.

At that point their son Kyle jumped into the fray, attempting to help his mother out. Atkinson began hitting him with a broomstick and cut him on the neck and elbow.

Having been ganged up on, Atkinson decided to go for the big guns and pulled out a pair of nunchaku, otherwise known in these parts as nun-chucks. He started out by swinging the nun-chucks at his son but at some point changed his mind and decided that he needed to become the victim in the deal and began hitting himself with the nun-chucks.

When police arrived at the residence and interviewed the household they arrested Charles Atkinson and charged him with Criminal Domestic Violence. He was still lodged in the Clarendon County Jail as of last night.

In addition to the fun and games Atkinson has at home he appears to be a menace to society in Manning as a whole. He’s been stopped for exceeding the speed limit by more than 25 mph four times in just the last month. He was also the driver in an August accident that killed 19-year-old pregnant Nikki Geddings. The woman ended up being airlifted to a hospital in Columbia where the baby was saved. Although Atkinson was speeding at the time of that accident they charged the driver of the truck he hit rather than Fatcat.

Fatcat was also arrested in November for Shoplifting as well as Illegal Possession of a Weapon after he stole a pair of boots. When police arrested him after his excursion at the local Wal-Mart (it could only have happened there…) he was carrying a .25 pistol.

Back in June of this year Atkinson was arrested for Unlawful Carrying of a Pistol and Possession of a Controlled Substance. The drug charge was dismissed due to insufficient evidence but the gun charge is still pending.

Want to know something really scary? Charles Atkinson is a former deputy sheriff. Doh.

Damn, you just gotta love the south.

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Updated 9/3/09 – Roger Stephens had his initial court appearance and the judge has denied bond and will be held in the Gwinnett County Jail until his next court appearance on September 8th.

Original Post – When it was just the wife and I and our Marine was a wee little tyke we always went grocery shopping together. Invariably I would end up walking out of the store with the Marine crying over my shoulder, to wait in the car while my wife finished. It’s a lesson we learned well and nowadays one of us goes while the other stays at home with the kids. My girls are actually well-behaved so the wife will occasionally take them with her. I’ve never been one of those parents who are oblivious to the whining antics of a child in public and I probably hate it more than most.

61-year-old Roger Stephens of Stone Mountain apparently feels the same way but he was prepared to do something about it.

A 2-year-old girl and her mother were shopping in the Wal-Mart in Stone Mountain on Tuesday morning and the toddler started to cry. Rogers couldn’t take it and told the little girl’s mother “If you don’t shut that baby up, I will shut her up for you”.

A few seconds later Stephens grabbed the two-year-old and slapped her at least four times and then turned to tell the mother “See, I told you I would shut her up”. At that point the girl started screaming and Stephens walked away. Another shopper stopped Stephens until security could get there. Police arrived a short time later and arrested the asshole, charging him with several crimes including felony cruelty to children. He is currently being held without bond pending a hearing.