Saturday afternoon 32-year-old Katrena Elaine Evans decided to head out for a little afternoon of shopping…er…shoplifting at the local WalMart in Cartersville, GA. Things quickly got ugly when one of the employees noticed she was sticking things in more than just her shopping cart.

Wayne Thacker identified himself as an employee and tried to detain Evans inside the store and got stabbed in the stomach for his efforts. After slashing the man Evans took off across the parking lot and jumped into the backseat of a silver car. Unfortunately for her it was driven by a man who didn’t know her. Heh.

Two off-duty police officers detained Evans, who is homeless, until local police could get there, Evans was arrested and charged with Aggravated Assault, Obstruction and Shoplifting and has been lodged in the Bartow County Jail.

The employee was treated for his wound at the Cartersville Medical Center and released and Evans will have three hots and a cot and a warm place to spend Christmas this year.

Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, is usually a pretty hectic day for retailers. It’s hard enough to watch out for the safety of customers and keep things from being broken much less keep an eye out for shoplifters but Sonya Carter and her Uncle Jerry Martin have allegedly hit the Target in Atlanta before and security was keeping an eye out for them this time.

Carter was allegedly using her 11-year-old son as a decoy while she and Martin would stash items in his wheelchair. The last time they were in this particular Target location the pair allegedly got away with two Nintendo Wii consoles. The ill-gotten booty this time around? Three Nintendo games for the Wii they claim they never stole, an electric razor and batteries.

This time around Sonya Carter and Jerry Martin were carted off to the Graybar motel while her son watched. A family member later picked up and took custody of her son.

Carter is charged with two counts of Contributing to the Delinquency of a Minor, Disorderly Conduct, Conspiracy to Commit Shoplifting and Theft by Shoplifting and is lodged in the Fulton County Jail on $3,500 bond. Martin, who has been locked up in the Fulton County Jail at least three prior times on similar charges, is charged with three counts of Contributing to the Delinquency of a Minor, Criminal Trespass and four felony Shoplifting charges. He’s being held on $1,000 bond.

You know how it is…Once you’ve had a kid your ass just isn’t quite the same size it used to be so what do you do if you’ve just recently had a kid but you’ve spent all your money on rent for your trailer? Hell, that’s easy. Go to Wal-Mart and steal some shit!

That’s exactly what 29-year-old Tiffany Lynn Boatwright of Ocala, Florida did. She went to Wal-Mart and stole her some panties as well as some perfume and a box of diapers. When she was stopped at the front door she attempted to fight with the security guys and the door greeter, knocking her ten-week-old baby around in the shopping cart as she fought with them.

Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you that part. Tiffany couldn’t find a babysitter for her little shoplifting trip so she just took the pesky little bugger along with her.

Along with the panties and diapers police recovered bras, some other baby items, Q-tips, light bulbs (where the fuck were those hidden I wonder?) and watches. A little over $300 in merchandise.

Hey Tiffany, here’s a clue for you. Get a fucking job and buy your shit! I guess it’s a bit difficult to keep a job in between trips to jail though. You see, Tiffany was arrested last month on DUI charges. She also has previous convictions for drugs.

So what does Tiffany have to say about it? According to Ocala.com,

OK, I stole it, but they grabbed me and took my baby, and they can’t do that because they’re not police officers. Some of the stuff I needed, and some I wanted.

Apparently Boatwright’s husband just recently lost his job as well. Somehow I think it was more of a performance-related job loss than anything else.

Someone getting caught shoplifting is not generally a story you’ll come across here at the site but it’s what she stole that makes 33-year-old Melody Marlene Sanders so different. Well, that and the drugs. Can’t forget about the drugs.

Melody went into Intimate Treasures, a local sex shop in Fort Walton Beach, Florida, back on December 22nd. I don’t know if she was looking for Christmas gifts for her closest friends or if she was in need of some relief but while she was in there she stole a Triple Indulgence Personal Massager, a Spartacus Leather Thong Whip, Climax Tingling Lube and Sex Tarts Lemonade Lube, quite a diverse selection as a matter of fact. On the store’s video surveillance Sanders can be seen putting the items into her purse and then leaving.

Spartacus Thong Whip in case you were wondering…

After she thought she had successfully gotten out of there Melody got into a car with a man and took off. Police found the car a short distance away after having been called by the store’s management. In addition to the stolen items officers also found three rocks of crack cocaine and a glass tube.

When questioned about the drugs and the sex toys Melody gave officers a false name. She was charged with Retail Theft, Possession of Cocaine, Possession of Drug Paraphernalia, False ID Given to Law Enforcement Officer and apparently has some kind of hold from Santa Rosa County, most likely a probation violation or something along those lines. She is currently lodged in the Okaloosa County Jail with no bond due to the hold (otherwise it would be $4,000).

Melody’s arrest report