Alexandra Dahm

I’ll have to just come right out and say it. Some bitches just have snakes in their heads.  19-year-old Alexandra Dahm comes to mind.

Early Thursday morning Dahm sent some text messages to a friend after she suddenly went missing from the Connect Lounge on Auburn Avenue including some that said “they will not allow me out of the car” and “several asian men armed with multiple shotguns.” She told her friend that a total of seven men armed with guns kidnapped her and took her to a home in Buckhead.

The friend showed up at the home and spoke with Dahm in the driveway where she said she was afraid to leave and refused to get in his car. That’s when he called 911 and gave them the location.

A perimeter was set up and hostage negotiators showed up along with the SWAT team. SEVERAL HOURS later Dahm walked out of the house. Turns out that nobody had guns and nobody had forced the girl to do anything. As she told police she “may have overexaggerated her text messages.”

Once they arrived at the police station Dahm tried to dump a bag of cocaine in the toilet as well. Heh.

Dahm was lodged in the Fulton County Jail charged with Possession of Cocaine and Tampering With Evidence. Hopefully there will be other charges forthcoming.

Updated 1/1/12 – Alexandra Dahm had a bond hearing Friday and was released from the Fulton County Jail on Saturday morning. She has also been charged with Reporting a False Crime.

Earlier this month deputies from the Tuscaloosa County Sheriff’s Department along with the Vance PD responded to a report of a burglary and stabbing in Coaling, Alabama. They found 58-year-old Jane Weaver suffering from a stab wound.

The woman told police that she had heard a noise from the back of her house and saw a man wearing a mask in her kitchen who then stabbed her. She said she grabbed a gun from her bedroom and shot at him. The man ran away. Weaver was treated at DCH Hospital.

Sadly it was all a lie. After being interviewed police realized Weaver had been lying and on Monday she was arrested by the Coaling Police Department and charged with False Reporting to Law Enforcement.

Shawn Batie

At 4:00 am on Friday, April 23^rd Lodi, CA police found themselves faced with a man wearing only an Oakland Raiders jacket, lacey g-string panties, socks and scrunchie around his genitals.  The man, Shawn Batie (42) appeared to be under the influence of methamphetamines.  I certainly hope he was under the influence of something… and doesn’t make a habit of running around half naked and talking to himself, but these days you just never know.

 
Anyhow, when officers arrived Batie was standing in the dirt next to a cemetery with a flashlight and yelling into the dark, wearing the above mentioned attire.  The officers said Batie was very jittery and his pupils were dilated.  He was taken in under suspicion of being under the influence, which was confirmed at the jail.  He was also found to be a parolee at large.

When questioned regarding the where-a-bouts of his pants, he said “they must have been taken.”  Really…. surely that was the case!  How these officers remained composed dealing with this asswipe is beyond me, they are better people than me.

Once in his cell, he promptly defecated and painted a self portrait on the walls, using his shit.  When given towels to clean up his artwork, he instead opted to clog the toilet.  He was then moved to a safety cell.

Batie was arrested for being under the influence of narcotics and being a parolee at large.

Arlina Romero

Deputies woman hid crack pipe in vagina

On April 19^th, undercover narcotics agents working a sting in Punta Gorda, FL arrested Arlina Romero (28).  According to reports Romero, recognized from previous drug dealings, walked out of a known drug house.  As she was approached by deputies she turned and began to take off, in an attempt to run.

She appeared to be trying to hide something in the crotch area of her pants.  The report states she had her hands deep inside the front of her jeans and was clearly trying to hide something.  When the deputy called out to her she removed her hands from her pants and turned around.

 
Romero consented to a search found, was a credit card, that belonged to someone else, she claimed she found and nothing else.  Not knowing whether she had found the card or it was stolen; Romero was escorted to the police station.  There she was asked if there was anything else hidden on her.

 
Romero confessed she had a crack pipe hidden in her vagina.  Yuck!  After the confession she was taken, by female deputies, into a private room where a 6-inch glass pipe was removed from her vagina.  The pipe later tested positive for cocaine.

 
While having the crack pipe removed from her va-jay-jay, the police contacted the owner of the credit card, who informed them, the card had been lost and Romero should not have it.  I bet you didn’t see that comin’ did ya?  Sure you did this is a woman who hides shit in her snatch of course she had a “lost” credit card.

 
Romero was arrested for Possession of a Controlled Substance and Possession of Paraphernalia.  She is being held without bond, as she was already out on bond from prior drug charge and she is a convicted felon.

26-year-old Shane Hale was at a hospital in Hazard County, Kentucky and apparently needed a ride home.

Rather than, you know, calling for a ride from a friend or calling a cab the man decided he would just find his own way. Hale managed to get inside an ambulance while the crew was inside the hospital, and drive off in it.

An off-duty detective with the Kentucky State Police happened to come across the ambulance which was being driven erratically and pulled Hale over. When asked why he stole the ambulance Shane explained to the officer that he had needed a ride home and was going to call the ambulance service the next day.

Hale was arrested on DUI as well as Theft by Taking, Driving DUI on a Suspended License and Criminal Mischief. He is currently lodged at the Kentucky River Regional Jail on $40,000 bond.

20-year-old Evan Francis Brown of Albertville, Alabama has been arrested and charged with 2nd-degree Assault by the Gadsden Police after he allegedly used a fork or spoon to brand a “V” into a 17-year-old’s forehead back in October.

Brown, who claims he’s a vampire and lives with a group of other losers who call themselves “The Homeless Crew”, apparently tricked the 17-year-old into thinking they were playing some sort of game and ties him up. I guess it probably was a game to Evan.

The teen also had cigarette burns on his face and arms and had been beaten.

Brown, obviously looking for attention, told police that his religion is Satanism and that his nickname is “Vamp.” At his home police found what appeared to be satanic symbols spray-painted on the walls and a book about witchcraft they had stolen from the local library.

On November 24^th, two men John D. Bullock (24) and Damonta D. Jones(25) were charged with first-degree sexual assault, in Eau Claire County, Wis. Court.  The two men are accused of sexually assaulting a 32-year-old woman and penetrating her with a live snake during the assault.  What in the hell where do these freaks come up with the shit?

According to the criminal complaint:

The woman told police she, two female friends, Jones and Damonta, were at Jones’ residence in the early morning hours of November 11^th.  The group had been drinking and dancing.

At one point one of the female friends left and the second went to take a shower, Jones then invited the woman into his bedroom to see pictures of his children. 

When she walked into the room, she was struck in the head with and unknown object, thrown to floor and blacked out.  She said the next thing she remembered was Jones holding her down as Bullock sexually assaulted her.  Jones then said, “I’m going to get the snake.”  A short time later she felt something inside her and believes it may have bitten her.  She stated she felt a sharp pain followed by someone saying “pull it out.”

According to Bullock the sexual contact with the woman was consensual.

The judge set $30,000 cash bails for both men.  The cash bail was requested due to the history of both men with the courts.  Bullock has skipped prior court appearances for unrelated charges, while Jones is on a probation hold for two separate sexual assault convictions.  Nice guys, I would bet they were just waiting for the first chance to get one of these women alone.

As a person with a fear of snakes… I can’t, don’t want to and refuse to imagine the horror of feeling and/or knowing one was inside me.

In Los Angles, a 62-year-old man has been convicted of having sex with a dog he adopted from an animal shelter.

The Animal Cruelty Task Force arrested Wade Strickland on February 2^nd after he was seen sexually violating the female German shepherd mix beneath a freeway over pass.  Nasty Ass!

On Tuesday, Strickland pleaded guilty to animal cruelty and lewd conduct and was placed on three years probation.  Only probation?  Hmmm…

According to the City Attorney’s office Strickland has adopted shelter dogs in the past and was reported for mistreating them.  Ok he is a repeat offender. Again, he only gets probation? Hmmm…

Witnesses were willing to testify in the latest case.  Well finally gawd damn poor dogs.

When he was arrested he was in possession of 2 dogs, one being the dog he was seen assaulting. 

Along with probation, Strickland is prohibited from owning any animals, must submit to law enforcement searches at anytime and attend 24 animal care counseling sessions.

You think the counseling sessions will help out this depraved individual?  I am doubtful.

Thanks to my girl April for sharing this lovely tip with me.

Noah Smith

It was a bizarre night in Seneca, SC Monday for Oconee County Sheriff’s Deputies, when they responded to a burglary call and found their suspect naked with a mouse in his rectum.  What?? Yep you heard it right he was naked with a mouse in his ass. 

Authorities responded late Monday morning after a resident complained of a burglar.  When they arrived they found Noah Smith, 31, laying face down and naked in the doorway of the victim’s home.  He was pooped from the burglary and wanted to nap I guess, where better than in the doorway.  As far as being naked goes… we all know clothes just get in the way when breaking and entering. 

While trying to make contact with the Naked Nabber, he proceeded to slap the deputy.  In return the deputy tased his naked butt, which had no effect on him.  The deputy, now with reinforcements, approached Smith again, in the victim’s bedroom, they managed to handcuff him before he jumped off the bed and tried to kick them.  Smith was pepper sprayed, struck with a police baton several times, undeterred he continued to kick at the officers and bite at them.  Finally Smith’s head and mouth were covered with a blanket to prevent more biting, he was wrestled to the ground, shackled and  hog-tied. 

Police believe he was high on mushrooms and found equipment used to get high in the victim’s house.  Ya think… drugs really??  Mind Boggling! 

During the medical exam that followed this fiasco, medical personal found a mouse-tail hanging from his rectum.  After they got their laughter under control…no not really I added that for my own amusement, they sent him for an x-ray.  Where sure enough there is was a mouse lodged in his ass.  Yuck!  One has to wonder how in the hell it got there. 

He told emergency room personnel that he had no memory of what happened to him.  Probably a good thing in this case! 

He’s been charged with resisting arrest, 1^st and 3^rd degree assault and battery and indecent exposure. 

Nothing to report on the condition of the mouse.

Carol Lee Bildsten

Carol Bildsten, 56, of Gurnee, IL has been charged with aggravated assault.  

Police became involved with Carol when she allegedly ran out on her bill at Joe’s Crab Shack, Tuesday evening.  

An officer responding to Carol’s residence, to discuss the incident at Joe’s was assault by what Cmdr. Jay Patrick called “a rigid feminine pleasure device.”  To the rest of us that would be a dildo…. LOL.  Are you cracking up yet? 

A full police report is not available yet, but Blidsten was taken into custody and was resting in a cell as of Wednesday afternoon. 

She has been charged with aggravated assault and theft of labor services. 

The image of this woman attacking this police officer with her dildo was just to freaking hilarious to pass up.  

LMAO… I really needed a good laugh this morning.

Melissa Williams

Meet Melissa L. Williams, she’s a beauty isn’t she?  Would you kick her out of your home, if she were offering it up and sitting there nekkid from the waist down? 

Well as appears, she has been arrested charged with domestic assault and brandishing a weapon.  Who did she assault?  She didn’t, actually, assault anyone that is unless you call sitting with pants off and emanating a horrible vaginal odor assault. 

A deputy reporting to a domestic dispute on Fri. Oct. 29, found a pant less Melissa L. Williams, her ex-husband Danny and his friend James Watson, all intoxicated.  Why was she pant less and what was the dispute about you ask?  Hold on to your pants (lol I crack myself up) I’m about to tell you….  

Danny and James told the officer that Melissa came into the apartment intoxicated, asked each of them to perform a sexual act on her and removed her pants and underwear.  Danny declined her invitation, but James said “what the hey, I’m game” and was going to go for it.  As James approached the lovely Melissa, he was overwhelmed…. by a horrible vaginal odor and promptly declined to proceed any further.  Yuck! 

At this point Melissa, ready to get her needs met, grabbed a lock-back folding knife off the table, pointed it at Danny and said, “somebody is going to eat my pussy, or I am going to cut your fucking throat.”  Now come guys, you know, nothing turns you on more than a drunken woman with a stinky snatch wielding a weapon demanding you chow down. 

Click here for the: 

Actual police report 

Ok so this one had me cracking the fuck up, but at the same time completely grossed me the fuck out.  We don’t get to many of these so I had to post it.  Hope you don’t mind Capt. I do apologize for in advance for any nightmares that make occur from the visuals of the beauty of above pant less.

not the actual cookies

Hunting Beach, Ca – Three children were sent to the hospital on Wednesday after eating marijuana laced cookies from a neighbor. 

Jason Davis, 40, is accused of giving his neighbors the cookies that were eaten by the neighbors’ child and his two friends.  The stepfather of one of the children was given the cookies as an early holiday treat early Wed. morning.  The stepfather took the cookies and set them out for everyone to share, unaware they were meant only for the adults.  Oops… I know it’s not funny! 

That afternoon, the stepfather’s son and two friends came home from school,  spotted the delicious looking cookies, chowed down on a few and headed off to the park.  Well, they returned a short time later suffering from uncontrollable vomiting, dizziness and headaches.  The stepfather fearing they had food poisoning immediately took them to the hospital.  Davis hearing the children ate the cookies rushed to the hospital and told the parents that the treats were laced with marijuana. 

The boys were treated for poisoning and released.  

I’m guessing Jason is feeling pretty bad about the situation and thinking he should have told dad what was up with cookies before he place them out for grabs for anyone.  It was a mistake, they were not meant for the kids, so I hope Jason doesn’t get in to much trouble. Did he use bad judgement yes, but he did not mean for anyone to get hurt.

James Russell Crockett

The guy trying to look all hard in the photo above is James Russell Crockett, 24, of Delmar, MD.  This shining example of manliness was arrested for assaulting an 70-year-old woman in the check out line of Walmart on Oct. 13. 

According to police, while waiting in line to check out at Walmart a 70-year-old woman was attempting to switch lanes and inadvertently bumped into the shopping cart of Crockett’s wife.  Crockett and his wife “became enraged” and shouted racial epithets at the woman, and Crockett put her in her cart and rammed her into the conveyor belt four times before she fell from the cart on to the floor.  Does somebody need to take some anger management classes?? jeez!  After the woman fell on the floor, Crockett bent over and flipped her cart into the air and it landed on top of her.  The woman screamed and repeatedly begged anyone to “Please call the police, call an ambulance, or call security.”  Why in the hell did she have to ask?  Why in the hell wasn’t someone already whooping this guys ass?  While the woman begged for help, both Crockett and his wife remained at the cash register and checked out the remainder of their groceries for approximately 15 minutes before leaving the store.  WTF?? why was he allowed to leave the freakin store?  Hello people this guy assault an elderly woman!  Gawd Damn! 

Crockett was taken into custody on the 15th… yes it took 2 freakin days to arrest the asshole, he was charged with first and second degree assault, reckless endangerment, disturbing the peace, dangerous weapon with intent to injure and disorderly conduct.  He was released after posting a $100,000 bond.  The misses, Virginia Elizabeth Crockett, 22, was charged with disorderly conduct and disturbing the peace.  The victim was treated at the Peninsula Regional Medical Center… who, I might add, finally contacted the police.  Her condition was not released. 

Now we all know that sometimes 70-year-old women, who shop at Walmart,  can be abrasive, crabby and even down right bitchy, however that is no reason for anyone let alone a many who is almost 50 years younger than her to physically attack her.  I have to ask myself why not one person stepped in to protect her, what if this guy encounters one of the other store patrons’ or employees’ mothers or grandmothers at Walmart next time, I mean clearly this guy and his wife have some anger issues.  It’s not like this woman stole her purse she “accidentally” hit their cart for crying out loud.  I am truly disgusted by this guy… I wish we lived in the area I’d sick my hubby on his low life ass.  What kind of man hits a woman let alone a 70-year-old one… fucking prick!

The “Raving Beauty” you see above is 33  year old Tonya Brown.  The Lovely Mrs. Brown is accused of flashing her breasts at a youth football team, coaches and parents.  EWWWWWWW! 

She was arrested and charged with public indecency on Wednesday.  She needs to be charged with being fugly and desperate!

What in the love of all things sane… made this chick think anyone, let alone impressionable young minds, would want to see her breasts??  Those poor people,  I am sure they all went home to bleach their eyes.  She’s a real looker!!

http://www.clickondetroit.com/news/25006046/detail.html?taf=det

A Michigan woman, my home state always makes me proud, has been charged with obscenity after police in Covington, LA say she stripped naked in the back of the cab and then drove off in it.   Are you getting a visual?? I am and it’s cracking me up….

Police say 29 yr. old St. Clair Shores, MI resident Jennifer Gille picked up a cab about 1 am Sunday and demanded the driver take her to Michigan.  Apparently the woman began to strip and refused to get out of the back of the cab, so the driver went to the police station and went inside for help.  This is where it gets funny, while he was seeking help for naked Michigander, she jumped in the front of the cab and took off.

The naked woman and the cab were found parked a block away from the police station.  Police said she continued to refuse to put her clothes on or get out of the cab.  She was consequently arrested and charged with unauthorized use of a movable car for stealing the cab and obsenity for exposing herself.  Police think she had been drinking heavily or on drugs.  Really now do ya think so???

This poor cabby, got scared of this naked woman and ran to the police for help, maybe he’s never seen a naked drunk woman before.  Kudos to Jen for leaving a great impression of us Michigan women in Lousiana.

She’s being held in the St. Tammany Parish jail.

LOL.. I cracked up through this whole story.

This really isn’t a huge crime story but when taken in context it’s pretty darned funny.

Back on July 3rd a police officer in Fort Walton Beach, Florida made a DUI stop in which he arrested 26-year-old Sherry Fuscaldo (MySpace) of Destin, Florida. She put up a little bit of a fight and after she was placed in the patrol car she started trying to kick the window out. The deputy who arrested her ended up having to pick her up and put her in leg irons as well as handcuffs. It doesn’t end there though. Oh hell no.

After Fuscaldo was taken to the jail she undid her bra and pulled her shirt down while they were taking her mug shot. The deputy taking it didn’t notice but the camera certainly did. Obviously they retook the photo (couldn’t get that damned lucky). He took her to the intake room where she grabbed her license off a desk. The deputy tried to get it back and she tried to bite him and then kicked another deputy causing him to bleed. She tried to bite him again but ended up biting herself.

Fuscaldo ended up being charged with Resisting an Officer With Violence and DUI.

I guess everyone has to get their rocks off in different ways. Mine involve midgets and bulls (no animals were hurt in the writing of this story) but Leland Dement of Reno, Nevada apparently enjoys calling 911 to make threats.

The 60-year-old man was arrested Saturday after he called 911 more than 20 times the same morning. The man allegedly made threats against Our Lady of the Snows School including bomb threats. Bomb sniffing dogs were sent to the school and didn’t find anything but the school was still closed today and Dement, who is currently lodged in the Washoe County Jail on $28,000 bond, was charged with Unlawful Use of the 911 System and Making a Bomb Threat.

Of course since none of the above crimes really fit any type of modus operandi for me to actually post this story here so you may be wondering exactly why Leland is showing his wonderful mug shot on the front page…It’s BECAUSE of his mug shot that he’s here. I just couldn’t resist.

Thanks to Me ToSee I came across this wonderful little story earlier today.

A couple of weeks ago a CHP officer came across 60-year-old Steven Ferrini sitting in his car in a no parking zone. He was found to be in possession of what they believed was Methamphetamine and arrested. When he was searched the officer found a suspicious wire with an on/off switch in his pants pocket. The wire went from his pocket into his fudge tunnel of love. Ferrini claimed it was an anal vibrator.

The arresting officers decided to take him to a local hospital to have it removed and stopped at the office first. While there Ferrini started talking about bombs and how to make them. The officers were afraid that he might have a bomb up his ass and notified the supervisor on duty and the bomb squad.

They ended up evacuating the office and around THREE hours later the bomb disposal unit “rendered the device safe” and decided it was, after all, an anal vibrator.

“Rendered the device safe”.

Damn.

I wonder which lucky guy got to pull the thing out of his anal cavity to take a look at it? Those guys damn sure don’t get paid enough to deal with that kind of explosive device…particularly after it’s been there for more than three hours. Perhaps Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs needs to spend some time with them.

Me ToSee sent me a link to this over at AccessAtlanta a couple of days ago but I’ve been pretty busy at work and hadn’t had time to check it out. I had also come across it over the weekend but since I didn’t have a mugshot at the time I decided to skip it. Thanks to the inestimable Smoking Gun we now have a mug.

31-year-old Toni Tramel was arrested last week for public drunk. She was taken to the Daviess County Jail in Kentucky to be booked. When Officer Lula Brown asked her to change into a jail uniform she was too drunk to comply so Brown tried to help her out.

When Tramel took her bra off in the jail shower she grabbed hold of her breast and squirted Brown in the face and neck with breast milk then tried to do it again but luckily the lactating woman was unsuccessful.

In addition to the public intoxication charge Tramel has now been charged with 3rd degree Assault on a Police Officer and is lodged in the Daviess County Jail on $10,000 bond.

If the woman was lactating doesn’t that generally mean she is either pregnant or has recently given birth? What the fuck was she thinking to get so damned drunk that she would get arrested for it? Celebrating the birth?

While this really isn’t a crime story, there is a bit of an element of crime here and it’s just weird enough for me to post.

Apparently a woman in Manitowoc, Wisconsin and her boyfriend went around barriers at the Lincoln Park Zoo enclosure there a bear was being held in order to get close enough to feed the thing.

You know those signs that say “Don’t feed the bears!”?

They are fucking-a serious as 47-year-old Tracy Weiler could tell you.

Tracy was allegedly trying to feed something to the bear out of a plastic bag and the bear apparently mistook Tracy’s fingers for whatever tasty treat she was trying to feed the damned thing. You FUCKTARD! Just because they are in the zoo doesn’t mean they are tame. That’s where the fucking cages come in. bwahaha.

Weiler lost her thumb and forefinger as well as a portion of her ring and middle fingers and her boyfriend, 51-year-old Lawrence Bosworth, was also bitten while he was trying to pry the bears jaws open to free his girlfriends fingers.

Free them he did. <snicker>

It’s been reported that alcohol might have played a factor in the incident. Say it isn’t so…

Down here in the deep south this kind of stuff usually follows some inebriated jackass saying “hey Jasper, watch this!…”

Of course, I may have been the inebriated jackass a time or two but thus far I have kept the hands from the mouths of bears.

The title says it all, or at least most of it.

52-year-old Terrence Miles of Ypsilanti, Michigan was at the public library last Thursday and the other patrons got quite a shock when the man emerged from the children’s section stark naked. A librarian then got another treat when Miles thrust his hips at her.

Terrence then threw his clothes back on, grabbed a handful of children’s books and exited the library. Law enforcement was able to track him down since he had asked for help finding books before his nekked hijinks.

The man turned himself into police at the station Monday but when they went to book him he took off like a bat out of hell. Police found him a short time later. He has been charged with Larceny, Resisting Arrest and Indecent Exposure. He has already pleaded guilty to Indecent Exposure.

In addition to the charges the library is revoking his library card as well.

20-year-old Christopher Lee Schaumburger is ill prepared to be a burglar. Monday he tried (unsuccessfully) to break into a home in the Cinnamon Hills area on Lake Tarpon right in between Palm Harbor and Tarpon Springs, Florida. Not being able to get inside (it was most likely locked, the only deterrent needed for Schaumburger) he went next door and broke into a different home, only this time the owner was at home.

Schaumburger beat feet while the owner of the home called 911. In the meantime Schaumburger stole a bicycle in an attempt to get away. He rode it for awhile and then tried running. Not being able to get away from the police fast enough Chris stole a pedal boat and took off at top speed (around 5mph) trying to cross Lake Tarpon in a bid to get away from police.

Apparently Schaumburger thought he would get less air resistance if he undressed so he did just that, stripping down to his underwear. About 200 years from shore the pedal boat broke and Schaumburger sat there screaming and crying like he was going to die until police managed to get the boat back to shore.

Schaumburger is currently lodged in the Pinellas County Jail charged with Armed Burglary, Attempted Burglary, Dealing in Stolen Property and Aggravated Assault. His bond is $85,000.

Chris Schaumburger’s MySpace

Bebo Profile

Charge Report

Yesterday was Martin Luther King Jr day. I know this because my kids were out of school and the wife had the day off work (although she’ll insist it’s because it was her birthday). It’s not that I don’t think Holidays are important but since they have no effect whatsoever on my schedule except to make me work harder I don’t pay attention.

So here we are. All over the United States people are celebrating, including down in St. Petersburg, Florida. Of course, what could bring the “dream” more alive than…throwing bricks at white people and cops! Hell yes!

Around 4:30 yesterday afternoon one of the officers working the festivities heard someone yelling at the crowd “Get your bricks early,” “get ‘em now for the festivities!” and “buy your bricks here!”

Not being one to miss a good time the officer went looking for the person behind the voice and found Leroy McKinney pulling a cart with a milk crate full of 3” long bricks.

McKinney, who already has three convictions in Pinellas County for Public Intoxication was arrested for Disorderly Conduct and booked into the Pinellas County Jail. He’s still sitting there on $250 bond so apparently he must not have made much in his crushing enterprise.

Apparently the woman in the video wasn’t satisfied with her hamburger and demanded a refund of her money. The folks at the McDonald’s told her they would be happy to give her another hamburger but she wasn’t going to get her money back.

Rather than take her free hamburger and sulk out of there the woman decides to turn into an asshat and starts throwing stuff over the counter. A bucket of water, straws, cookies, a wet floor sign. Then she goes for the cash registers and knocks three of them off the counter.

The Kansas City Police Department is still looking for the woman and the restaurant is said to have taken a loss of several thousand dollars.

Last year down in Florida (of course) Latreasa Goodman went into the McDonald’s in Ft. Pierce and paid for her meal, which included chicken nuggets. Apparently they were out and wouldn’t give her money back, so she called 911…THREE TIMES. She was initially charged with Misuse of a 911 Call but I believe that was dropped. Hopefully some dumbass McDonald’s employee was fired after that as well.

…which brings us to the topic of this post. Melodi Dushane.

24-year-old Melodi Dushane (MySpace | Facebook) from East Toledo, Ohio got a hankering for chicken nuggets last Thursday night/Friday morning. Thing is the nuggets aren’t available for breakfast. When Melodi went through the drive-thru and was told that they didn’t serve nuggets for breakfast she reached up through the drive-thru window and punched the employee in the mouth.

It gets even better though. The shift manager came to see what the commotion was all about and Dushane swung her fists at at her. Rather than do the smart thing and let her go, getting her tag number and description for the police the moron reached through the window and tried to drag Melodi through it by her hair.

Melodi fought back and ended up being let go, at which point she punched out the drive-thru window. By that time police had arrived. Melodi was treated at a local hospital and released, at which point she was arrested and charged with Felony Vandalism. She has pleaded not guilty and been ordered to stay away from that McDonald’s and will be back in court on January 28th.

Aside from the fact that Melodi is obviously a pea brain, I am relatively certain (having been in food management for the last 23 years) that a certain shift manager no longer holds that position and will be lucky if they even have a job anymore. Most big companies take a dim view on their employees getting involved in physical altercations. Self defense is one thing but trying to drag someone through a drive-thru window probably could have been avoided.

Waiting in line with the little kids was one of Santa’s elves. While not part of this Santa’s holiday menagerie William C. Caldwell III of Morrow certainly dressed the part, all except for the trench coat he was wearing. When Caldwell managed to get his turn with Santa he told the portly St. Nick he wanted to have his picture taken with him…and oh, by the way, he also had dynamite in his bag and was going to blow up the mall.

Several people heard Caldwell and do what crowds of sheep always do, run like hell. Police were informed and they subdued Caldwell, throwing him to the ground in the process. The mall was evacuated (for the rest of the evening) and searched for explosives which were never found…

It’s as if a producer said “find me the biggest dumbass rednecks to interview, we’re going to be on National News tomorrow!”

Some of the comments witnessed gave CBS last night,

“I ain’t never seen a whole mall evactuated at one time like that”

“They said bomb..I just heard bomb! When I heard the b-word, I just dipped, seriously”

Caldwell was arrested and charged with Terroristic Threats, Simple Assault, Hoax Devices, False Imprisonment, Disorderly Conduct, False Public Alarm and Reckless Conduct. He’s been lodged in the Clayton County Jail with no bond.

I don’t yet have a booking photo but his arrest docket is here. He even sounds like an elf. Not that I am the tallest person on the block but William is a white male, 5′, 108 lbs. Just as soon as I can get a photo I’ll be sure to get it online.

Update 4:24 p.m. – So they have released Caldwell’s mug shot as you can see at the top of the entry. Nothing really new here but a couple of the local stations have interviewed Caldwell’s neighbors who call him mentally unstable and that the costume didn’t surprise them. One man said that he walks around with different costumes every day. Sometimes a king, sometimes he has a cape on, etc…They do say that he has never been unpleasant though, just weird.

I recently had to deal with my 12-YO on that one. She is currently on the wrestling team at her middle school which means 6 p.m. pickup at school. She also goes to church on Wednesday nights and Sundays as well. She had several homework assignments due and procrastinated on them as well as a project that was due in two days. She had a wrestling meet the next night. Her choice was to stay up until midnight and finish it that night or skip the wrestling meet and chance being dropped from the team. She chose to finish her work and we managed to get to bed about 11:30. Too late for me considering that I have to get up at 4:30 every morning but I wasn’t about to force her to stay up and not be there to help out.

 While I am not a huge believer in any type of organized religion my children are smart enough to figure that stuff out for themselves. Our next-door-neighbor is a pastor at one of our local churches and all I told my wife was that I think going to church is a good thing for them morally and socially but the first day that they come home and tell me that I am going to hell for not believing will be their last day at church until they turn 18.

Anyway, my whole point is that it’s OK to want your kids to be successful in all of their endeavors but you have to let your children be children too. They need time to play. Time to pretend and just decompress. It’s NOT a good thing to make them so ultra-overachieving that they skip their childhood and this is what brings me to the REAL point of this post.

Yang Fen is a divorced father in Haikou City, Hainan Province, China. He has decided that the way to win his wife back is to turn his 6-year-old daughter into a famous marathon runner. His little girl recently ran 86 miles in two days and he wants to train her to run that distance in ONE.

She is forced to run laps as soon as she gets home from school, where she recently skipped two grades, sometimes until midnight. According to the article over at FOXAtlanta he is concerned over her puffy toes and swollen feet but the training continues anyway. So much for fucking concern. His comment to an interview was “Now there is only my daughter and me, I have no choice but to let her share some of my treasure. I hope she will become more mature and sturdy through the training”

In addition to her running she also takes guitar and singing lessons.

There’s something to be said for living vicariously through your children but driving them too far physically and emotionally to make up for your failures just makes you a bigger…failure.

Not exactly a crime story, I know, but in my eyes this is as much child abuse as if he was punching her in the head before bed every night.

About five minutes into his appointment Jay whipped out his willy and started choking the old chicken in front of the therapist, who ended the session. Harris left but about five minutes later he called her back to ask if he could see her again.

Harris was charged with public indecency and according to the Forsyth County Sheriff’s Office he may have committed similar crimes in other parts of Atlanta.

Damned if I don’t have a mug shot or MySpace page but rest assured that if I come across one I’ll be sure to post it here.

A couple of police officers were sitting outside of a grocery store in Kansas City, Missouri when Todd Kresin and an accomplice drove up to two women in the parking lot. Kreisin knocks one of them down while stealing her purse.

The entire incident was caught on the officer’s dash-cam, along with the fact that they arrested him before he ever left the parking lot.

The video below was shown in court and Kresin was convicted and sentenced to 12 years in prison. His getaway driver received four years.

29-year-old William Bryant Moncalieri was released on bond on October 18th and had his court case back in February. Apparently Moncalieri either pleaded guilty or was found guilty. He ended up serving two months in jail, had to pay fines and restitution and was released from the Pinellas County Jail on April 13th of this year.

Original Entry – …actually he loves money even more than that. Betcha thought this was some kind of necrophilia post, huh? Not today thank goodness. According to WKRG in the Florida Panhandle William Moncalieri stole more than 100 urns from a Florida cemetery and sold them to a recycling company. Moncalieri used to work for the cemetery and stole 15-20 urns a night and made over $1000. They are the metal urns where you place flowers on graves, not urns for ashes (which is what I initially thought). The owners reported missing urns back in early august after they noticed them missing all over the cemetery.

The Pinellas County Sheriff’s Department arrested him at his home on Monday.

Hope that $1000 was worth the jail time. bwahahaha.

When I first came across the story I just figured Moncalieri was a waged employee of the cemetery but he is listed at Portfolio.Com as the General Manager for the Eternal Rest Funeral Home in Dunedin, Florida.