Author and owner of Captain Obvious' Crime Site. I have been blogging in one form or another since the days of Fidonet and BBSes in the early nineties. Started blogging in it's current form around 10 years ago and got seriously interested in crime in 2005, about the time Natalee Holloway vanished. I've been hooked ever since.
  • http://www.myspace.com/aprilamber April

    Fuck! She honestly thought someone would pay her for sex? Yow. Drunk, dirty, crazy, homeless people wouldn’t hit that fugly ass for free.

    • http://www.sickcrimes.us/ Captain Obvious

      She could be like that singer from Britain, you know the one that looks like Margaret Thatcher’s older sister. She’s butt ugly but when she opens her mouth it’s golden.

      Maybe when Margaret Cotton opens her legs she has the golden vagina?

  • http://www.myspace.com/aprilamber April

    Fuck! She honestly thought someone would pay her for sex? Yow. Drunk, dirty, crazy, homeless people wouldn’t hit that fugly ass for free.

    • http://www.sickcrimes.us Captain Obvious

      She could be like that singer from Britain, you know the one that looks like Margaret Thatcher’s older sister. She’s butt ugly but when she opens her mouth it’s golden.

      Maybe when Margaret Cotton opens her legs she has the golden vagina?

  • http://www.myspace.com/aprilamber April

    Nope. I have a golden vagina and I look way better than this hooch. God does n’t give golden snatches to just anyone. You should know that.

    • http://www.sickcrimes.us/ Captain Obvious

      You do have a point there. The Golden Vagina can be an elusive creature and butt ugly hookers generally don’t have them.

  • http://www.myspace.com/aprilamber April

    Nope. I have a golden vagina and I look way better than this hooch. God does n’t give golden snatches to just anyone. You should know that.

    • http://www.sickcrimes.us Captain Obvious

      You do have a point there. The Golden Vagina can be an elusive creature and butt ugly hookers generally don’t have them.

  • http://www.myspace.com/aprilamber April

    Nope. Hooker in general don’t have them. They have stretched out, over used, patty melt looking things that resemble beef tongues that have been pounded with a meat mallet.

  • http://www.myspace.com/aprilamber April

    Nope. Hooker in general don’t have them. They have stretched out, over used, patty melt looking things that resemble beef tongues that have been pounded with a meat mallet.

  • http://www.myspace.com/aprilamber April

    Sorry if that gave you an unwelcome visual – But I’m sure you giggled.

  • http://www.myspace.com/aprilamber April

    Sorry if that gave you an unwelcome visual – But I’m sure you giggled.

  • http://www.sickcrimes.us/ Captain Obvious

    Thus the term…Beef Curtains

  • http://www.sickcrimes.us Captain Obvious

    Thus the term…Beef Curtains

  • http://www.myspace.com/aprilamber April

    haaaaahaaaaaaa!!  That’s funny.  Gross…. But funny.

  • http://www.myspace.com/aprilamber April

    haaaaahaaaaaaa!!  That’s funny.  Gross…. But funny.

  • wow

    id hit that sexy thing!!!! who doesnt like a old ugly prostitute:twisted:

  • wow

    id hit that sexy thing!!!! who doesnt like a old ugly prostitute:twisted:

  • http://www.myspace.com/aprilamber April

    haaaaahaaaaaaa.  I’m sure if she’s toothless as well that would make her fucking priceless. 

    mmmmm…. Yummy….. Ugly, toothless whore…….. *drool*